Friday, November 6, 2009

Birth order of children

I cannot take credit for the following.
It is an email that was forwarded to me. It is very funny and so true.

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:
1st baby: You pr e-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them,
and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether
they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave
a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees blood.

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to
the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch
for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his

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